How to prepare for divorce in 2026?

Divorce is not just about filing a statement of claim and waiting for a court date. In practice, it is a moment when several very important matters must be addressed simultaneously: the relationship between spouses, children, child support, visitation, housing, assets, documents, and evidence. The more chaos at the beginning, the easier it is to make mistakes that are difficult to undo later.
Therefore, the question "how to prepare for divorce" is much more important than it may seem. A well-prepared divorce case does not mean immediately going to war. It means knowing what you want, what needs to be proven, which documents to gather, and where the biggest problems may arise.
If the case is uncontested, without minor children, without fault determination, and without major disputes over assets, the divorce can be relatively straightforward. However, if there are children, child support, conflicts over visitation, accusations of infidelity, violence, addiction, loans, housing, or a business, the case requires much more careful preparation.
On the Syndykat Prawniczy website, divorce is described as a matter that often involves not only the termination of marriage but also children, child support, visitation, parental authority, and division of property. Therefore, a good starting point is the page divorce assistance and the broader category family law.
Where to Start Preparing for Divorce?
First, it is necessary to determine what the real problem is. It sounds simple, but many people start by drafting a statement of claim before answering basic questions. Later, it turns out that the claim lacks a request for child support, there is no motion for provisional measures, the evidence is chaotic, and the children's matters are described in one sentence.
Before filing a statement of claim, it is worth calmly answering several questions:
- Is the decision to divorce final?
- Does the other party also want a divorce?
- Do the spouses still live together?
- Do they have common minor children?
- Is there a dispute over the child's residence?
- Is it necessary to establish child support?
- Does the other parent pay for the child?
- Is it necessary to regulate visitation?
- Do you want a divorce with fault determination?
- Do you have evidence of the other party's fault?
- Has there been violence, addiction, or a threat to the children?
- Is there shared housing, a house, a loan, or a business?
- Should the property be divided now or separately?
- Do you need quick protection of the child's situation or finances?
These are not "later" questions. They determine how the statement of claim should look, which attachments must be prepared, and what strategy will be reasonable.
If the case mainly concerns the divorce itself, it is worth starting by organizing the facts concerning the breakdown of the marriage. If the most important issues are the children, from the beginning you must also consider child support, visitation, the child's residence, and parental authority. If the problem is property, documents concerning housing, loans, savings, and major purchases must be secured in advance.
When Can the Court Grant a Divorce?
Under Polish law, the court may grant a divorce if there has been a complete and permanent breakdown of marital life between the spouses. This is a fundamental concept in divorce cases. Therefore, it is not enough to simply state: "we do not get along" or "I want to end the marriage."
Complete breakdown of marital life means that the basic bonds between spouses have ceased:
- emotional bond
- physical bond
- economic bond
Permanent breakdown means there is no realistic prospect of rebuilding the marriage. The court may therefore ask since when the crisis has lasted, whether the spouses live together, whether they run a joint household, whether they have attempted to save the relationship, and whether they see a chance for reconciliation.
The grounds for divorce are found in the Family and Guardianship Code. The official text of the statute can be checked in the Internet System of Legal Acts of the Sejm: Family and Guardianship Code - ISAP.
It is not necessary to describe the entire marriage from the first meeting in the statement of claim. However, it is necessary to show why the marriage has actually broken down and why there is no real chance of repair. If the divorce is without fault determination and the other party agrees, the description can be more moderate. If fault determination is requested, much more facts and evidence must be prepared.
Divorce with or without Fault Determination?
This is one of the most important decisions before filing a statement of claim. It is not advisable to make it solely under the influence of emotions. Divorce with fault determination and divorce without fault determination are two different paths that may mean different durations of the case, different evidence, and a different atmosphere of the proceedings.
Divorce without fault-finding is usually simpler and faster. The court does not thoroughly examine who is responsible for the breakdown of the marriage. Spouses do not have to engage in extensive evidentiary battles, call many witnesses, or expose all family conflicts.
Divorce with fault-finding may be justified when serious conduct by one party has occurred, for example:
- infidelity
- psychological abuse
- physical abuse
- addiction to alcohol or drugs
- abandonment of the family
- gross neglect of family duties
- concealment of money
- long-term affair
- aggression towards the spouse or children
- destruction of family life by one party
However, one thing must be remembered: if you demand a fault ruling, you must have evidence. Mere belief that the other party "destroyed the marriage" is insufficient. The court will require facts, documents, messages, witnesses, or other materials that show what happened and how it affected the breakdown of the marriage.
Is divorce without fault always the best option?
Not always. Sometimes divorce without fault-finding is a reasonable choice because both parties want to close the marriage quickly and peacefully. If there are no children, no major financial disputes, and the spouses agree, this path can save time, nerves, and costs.
But there are situations where waiving fault may be too hasty. This especially applies to cases where one person was genuinely harmed or the other party caused the breakdown of the marriage through their behavior. Fault may also be significant in matters of maintenance between former spouses.
Therefore, it is not advisable to agree to a no-fault divorce just because the other party says: "it will be faster." Sometimes it will indeed be faster. But sometimes such a decision may be disadvantageous, especially if there is strong evidence and important reasons to seek a fault determination.
The wisest approach before filing a statement of claim is to answer three questions:
- do I care more about time or establishing responsibility
- do I have evidence of the other party's fault
- can a fault ruling have financial or family significance
If the answers are not clear, it is better to consult the matter before sending the statement of claim.
How to prepare a description of the marriage breakdown?
The description of the marriage breakdown should be specific. It is not about writing an emotional diary. The court needs an organized history that shows when the problems began, what caused them, and why the marriage does not function.
It is worth preparing a simple timeline:
- when the marriage was concluded
- when the first serious problems appeared
- whether there were attempts to save the relationship
- when the spouses stopped living together
- whether they still live together
- when the emotional bond ceased
- when the physical bond ceased
- whether the parties run a joint household
- whether there are children
- what is currently the biggest point of dispute
Such a timeline helps to write the statement of claim calmly and logically. Without it, it is easy to confuse facts, exaggerate emotions, or omit something important.
If the divorce is to include fault-finding, specific events must be listed additionally. It is not enough to write: "the husband treated me badly" or "the wife destroyed the family." It is better to indicate exactly what happened, when, whether there is evidence, and who can confirm it.
Example of good preparation:
- in March 2025 the spouse moved out of the house
- since April 2025 he has not contributed to the child's expenses
- In May 2025, he admitted in the news that he is in a relationship with another person
- Since June 2025, the parties have not maintained a joint household
- The child lives with the mother, and the father has irregular contact
Such a description provides a basis for further work on the statement of claim.
Divorce and children - why must this be considered from the start?
If the spouses have minor children, divorce does not concern only the adults. The court must also resolve matters related to the child. Therefore, it is necessary to consider from the beginning how the child's daily life will look after the divorce.
The most important topics are:
- the child's place of residence
- parental authority
- contact with the other parent
- maintenance
- child maintenance costs
- school or kindergarten
- medical treatment
- extracurricular activities
- holidays and celebrations
- making important decisions
- possible shared custody
If the child mainly lives with one parent, it is worth describing how daily care is provided. Who takes the child to school? Who goes to the doctor? Who pays for activities? Who helps with homework? Who buys clothes? Who organizes holidays? Such details matter because they show the real division of responsibilities.
If the main issue is child support, it is advisable to prepare a summary of the child's expenses and use the child support calculator. The calculator does not replace the court but helps organize expenses and see what may justify the requested amount.
If the issue concerns custody, it is worth visiting the page parental authority and shared custody. These topics often coincide with divorce because the court must determine how parents will fulfill their duties after separation.
Is it necessary to divide property immediately?
Not always. Divorce and division of property are two different matters, although they often go hand in hand in practice. The divorce court may sometimes handle the division of property, but only if it does not cause excessive prolongation of the proceedings. If there is a significant dispute between the parties over the apartment, loan, business, or settlements, the division of property is often conducted separately.
This does not mean that property can be ignored before divorce. On the contrary, it is worth gathering documents beforehand because access to them may become more difficult after separation.
Useful documents may include:
- notarial deed of the apartment or house
- loan agreement
- loan repayment schedule
- installment confirmations
- car documents
- business documents
- information about bank accounts
- confirmations of major purchases
- documents concerning donations and inheritances
- confirmations of contributions to property
If property is an important element of the case, it is worth checking the page division of property after divorce. This topic may require a separate strategy, especially when real estate, a mortgage loan, or business activity is involved.
Violence, addiction, or threat - when must action be taken faster?
Not every divorce case is a peaceful separation of two people who simply no longer want to be together. Sometimes violence, addiction, threats, financial control, harassment, aggression, or danger to the child appear in the background. Then preparation for divorce looks different.
If domestic violence occurs, it is not advisable to wait solely for the divorce hearing date. Sometimes it is necessary to act faster and simultaneously take other steps: secure the child, report the violence, gather documentation, seek help from appropriate institutions, or prepare applications regarding contact and the child's place of residence.
In such a case, the page will be useful legal assistance for victims of domestic violencewill be useful. In matters of violence, specifics matter: police reports, medical documentation, messages, witnesses, the Blue Card procedure, psychologist certificates, and all materials that demonstrate real risk.
If the matter is urgent, it is not worth starting with a general question like “how to write a statement of claim.” First, it is necessary to determine what requires immediate protection.
Are changes planned in divorce and family law cases in 2026?
Yes, the topic of changes in family law is current. The Ministry of Justice published in June 2026 a statement about a family law package, which concerns, among others, the child's welfare, shared custody, and faster enforcement of child support. The statement indicates that the aim of the changes is to focus family matters more on the child and reduce conflict between parents: Family law package for the welfare of children - gov.pl.
However, one thing must be noted. Announcements of changes are not the same as binding regulations. When preparing a divorce petition, it is always necessary to check the current legal status. It is not advisable to base decisions solely on internet headlines.
In practice, for a person preparing for divorce, the most important are still specific questions:
- are the grounds for divorce met
- should fault be adjudicated
- how to describe the children's situation
- what child support is needed
- is protection necessary
- what evidence to gather
- how to arrange property matters
- is there a risk of violence or threat to the child
Only after answering these questions can the statement of claim be sensibly prepared.
When is it worth contacting a lawyer before divorce?
It is especially worth contacting a lawyer when the case is not straightforward. It is not only about drafting the statement of claim. Often, setting the strategy before the first move is much more important.
Consultation may be necessary when:
- you do not know whether to claim fault
- there are minor children
- child support needs to be determined
- the other parent does not pay for the child
- there is a dispute over contact
- there is a dispute over the child's place of residence
- the other party hides income
- there has been violence or addiction
- you have a joint loan
- you have an apartment, house, or business
- you fear the other party will obstruct the case
- you do not know what evidence you can use
A good place to start contact is the form on the page. contactIt is worth briefly describing what the case concerns: divorce, children, child support, fault, property, or urgent protection.
What to do before filing a statement of claim?
Before filing a statement of claim, it is advisable to take a few simple steps.
First, write down the most important facts. When did the problems begin? Were there attempts to save the marriage? Do the spouses still live together? Is there a chance for an amicable divorce? Could the other party deny the marriage breakdown?
Second, decide whether you want a divorce with fault or without fault. This does not have to be a decision made in anger. It should result from the case's purpose, evidence, and possible consequences.
Thirdly, organize the children's matters. Determine where the child lives, who takes care of them, what the visitation arrangements are, the monthly costs, and whether child support security will be necessary.
Fourthly, gather financial documents. This concerns both child support and assets. Bills, transfer confirmations, contracts, loan documents, and child maintenance costs may be highly relevant.
Fifthly, ensure proper communication. Messages sent in emotional states may later be included in the case files. It is better to write briefly, calmly, and factually, especially in matters concerning children.
Sixthly, do not postpone urgent issues. If the child needs money, the other parent does not pay, visitation is obstructed, or there is violence, quick action should be considered rather than just waiting for the divorce.
The most important rule at the start
It is advisable to prepare for divorce calmly, even if the situation is very emotional. A statement of claim written in anger is often chaotic. Conversely, agreeing too quickly to everything may later be disadvantageous.
The best preparation consists of knowing:
- what you want from the court
- whether you have evidence
- which matters concern the children
- what child support is needed
- is protection necessary
- which financial documents are important
- whether the assets require a separate strategy
- whether the case can be amicable or conflictual
Divorce ends the marriage but simultaneously organizes many matters for the future. Therefore, it is not worth proceeding impulsively. The better you prepare facts, documents, evidence, and decisions, the easier it will be to conduct the case reasonably—without unnecessary chaos and without leaving important issues to chance.
Documents for divorce – what to prepare before filing the statement of claim?
Preparing documents for divorce should not begin on the day of sending the statement of claim. The earlier you organize the most important papers, messages, bills, and information about the children, the more calmly the situation can be assessed. The goal is not to immediately create a large binder covering the entire marriage. It is about collecting those items that may truly matter to the court.
In divorce cases, documents may concern several areas:
- the marriage itself
- common minor children
- child support
- visitation and custody
- fault for the breakdown of the marriage
- financial situation
- assets
- violence, addiction, or other serious problems
- previous communication between spouses
Not every case requires the same set. In an uncontested divorce without children, the list will be short. In a divorce involving children, child support, fault, and assets, much more thorough preparation is necessary.
The basis of civil proceedings is the Code of Civil Procedure. It contains general rules regarding procedural documents, evidence, and court proceedings. Divorce itself and matters concerning children and child support are based on the Family and Guardianship Code.
Basic formal documents
At the outset, it is necessary to prepare documents without which the divorce case will not proceed properly or will quickly be returned for supplementation.
Most often required are:
- a copy of the marriage certificate
- copies of birth certificates of minor children
- confirmation of court fee payment
- parties' data
- parties' addresses
- plaintiff's PESEL number
- attachments confirming the most important facts described in the statement of claim
A copy of the marriage certificate confirms that the marriage exists and can be dissolved by divorce. Copies of children's birth certificates are necessary when the spouses have common minor children. The court must know how many children are involved in the case, their ages, and what decisions need to be made.
A copy of the civil status record can be obtained online, at the office, or by mail. The official instructions are available on the website gov.pl - obtain a copy of the civil status record.
It is advisable to ensure up-to-date copies rather than using random old copies found at home. If the statement of claim is to be properly prepared, the formal documents should be complete from the start.
What should a divorce statement of claim contain?
The divorce statement of claim must clearly show what you are requesting from the court. This is very important because the court should not have to guess your intentions.
The statement of claim must indicate, among other things:
- the court to which the case is directed
- the data of the plaintiff and the defendant
- the request to dissolve the marriage by divorce
- whether the divorce is to be granted without or with fault-finding
- requests concerning the children
- requests concerning maintenance
- any request for maintenance security
- any requests concerning visitation
- any requests concerning parental authority
- the justification of the statement of claim
- evidence
- a list of attachments
- signature
If the divorce is to be amicable and consensual, the statement of claim may be simpler. However, it should still be specific. If there are children involved, it is not enough to say in one sentence that “the parties will agree on the child.” It is better to immediately describe where the child will live, how maintenance will be arranged, and how the parents want to settle the most important matters after the divorce.
If the case is contentious, the statement of claim should be even more detailed. You need to show the basis for the fault claim, why maintenance is necessary, what custody model is best for the child, and what evidence supports your position.
Assistance in such matters is described on the website divorces, where divorce is presented not only as the termination of marriage but also as the arrangement of issues concerning children, maintenance, parental authority, and property.
How to describe the breakdown of the marriage?
The justification of the statement of claim should not be a chaotic story about the entire relationship. The court does not need a diary. It needs the most important facts.
It is best to prepare a brief timeline:
- when the marriage was concluded
- when serious problems appeared
- whether there were attempts to save the relationship
- when the spouses stopped living as a couple
- whether they still live together
- whether they run a joint household
- Do they have common minor children?
- what is the main cause of the breakdown
- whether the other party agrees to the divorce
- whether there is a dispute about fault
In a divorce without fault-finding, the description can be calmer. It is enough to show that the marriage has indeed broken down, the bonds have ceased, and there is no realistic prospect of reconciliation.
In a divorce with fault-finding, specific behaviors of the other party must be described. It is not enough to write: “the husband was bad” or “the wife caused the breakdown of the marriage.” Facts must be indicated.
For example:
- infidelity
- psychological abuse
- physical abuse
- addiction
- abandonment of the family
- concealment of money
- long-term affair
- lack of participation in family life
- aggression towards spouse or children
Every such allegation should be supported by evidence. Without this, the case may turn into a he-said-she-said situation.
Evidence in divorce cases
Evidence is needed to confirm the most important facts. It is not necessary to attach everything that ever happened in the marriage. It is better to select materials that truly help the court understand the case.
In divorce cases, evidence may concern:
- permanent and complete breakdown of the marital relationship
- fault of one of the spouses
- children’s situation
- costs of child maintenance
- parents’ income
- method of custody
- violence or addiction
- obstruction of contact
- financial situation
- earning capacity of the other party
Evidence may include, among others:
- documents
- SMS messages
- messenger messages
- e-mails
- photos
- recordings
- transfer confirmations
- bills
- invoices
- medical documentation
- school documents
- police documents
- documents from the Blue Card procedure
- witness testimonies
The most important thing is that the evidence is organized. Dozens of random screenshots without dates, descriptions, and context may hinder the case more than help.
How to organize messages and screenshots?
Messages are often important evidence in divorce cases. They may show infidelity, threats, arrangements regarding children, non-payment, obstruction of contact, or admission of specific behaviors.
The problem is that many people provide them in complete chaos. A screenshot of half a conversation, without a date and context, may be difficult to assess.
It is best to prepare messages so that the following are visible:
- date of the conversation
- who wrote
- to whom it was written
- full context
- most important excerpt
- what the given message is meant to prove
Example description:
"Message from February 14, 2026 – the defendant admits that for several months he has been living with another person and does not plan to return home."
Or:
"Messages from March 2026 – the defendant refuses to release the child for previously agreed visitation."
Such a description is much more useful than just posting screenshots. The court does not know your history. You need to show why the given message matters.
Witnesses in divorce cases
Witnesses can help, but only if they have something specific to say. It is not about calling all friends and family. It is better to have fewer witnesses who know the actual facts.
A good witness can confirm, for example:
- what the spouses' life was like
- whether the spouses lived together
- whether there were quarrels
- whether there was violence
- whether one party abused alcohol
- who took care of the children
- who paid for the children's needs
- what the other parent's contact with the child was like
- whether infidelity occurred
- whether one spouse left the family
A weaker witness is a person who knows the case only from stories and has not seen anything personally. The court may hear such a person, but their testimony usually has less value than that of someone who actually knows the situation.
Before naming a witness, it is worth answering one simple question: what exactly is this person supposed to confirm?
If you cannot name it, perhaps the witness is not needed.
Evidence in fault-based divorce cases
In fault-based divorces, evidence is especially important. Fault determination means the court must establish whether one spouse is responsible for the breakdown of the marriage. This usually prolongs the case and increases conflict.
In cases of infidelity, evidence may include:
- messages
- photos
- travel confirmations
- correspondence
- witness testimonies
- admission by the other party
- other materials showing a relationship with a third person
In cases of violence, the following may be relevant:
- police reports
- medical documentation
- documents from the Blue Card procedure
- photos of injuries
- threatening messages
- witness testimonies
- psychologist certificates
- crisis intervention documents
In cases of addiction, the following may be useful:
- treatment documents
- police interventions
- witness testimonies
- messages
- photos
- documents from therapy centers
- evidence of family neglect
In cases involving domestic violence, it is necessary to act cautiously and not postpone safety. If the issue concerns violence, it is advisable to immediately check the section domestic violence and seek assistance before the conflict escalates further.
Evidence concerning children
If children are involved, the court will scrutinize their situation very carefully. In such cases, evidence should demonstrate not only the conflict between spouses but, above all, the child’s daily life.
Useful documents may include:
- children's birth certificates
- certificates from school or kindergarten
- child’s medical records
- documents from the psychological-pedagogical counseling center
- confirmations of extracurricular activities
- treatment invoices
- confirmations of school or kindergarten fees
- parents’ correspondence regarding the child
- schedule of prior custody arrangements
- messages concerning pick-ups, contacts, and expenses
- testimonies from individuals familiar with the child’s situation
If one parent is primarily responsible for the child’s daily care, it is advisable to demonstrate this concretely. The court may want to know:
- who takes the child to school
- who attends parent-teacher meetings
- who schedules medical appointments
- who buys clothes
- who pays for activities
- who helps with homework
- who organizes vacations
- who cares for the child during illness
- who truly understands the child’s needs
This is especially important when the other parent suddenly declares significant involvement in the divorce but previously did not regularly participate in caregiving.
Disputes over the child are very often connected with matters concerning parental authority. If parents cannot make joint decisions about the child’s school, medical treatment, trips, or place of residence, this issue must be thoroughly prepared already at the divorce stage.
Evidence concerning child support
Child support in divorce proceedings should not be estimated arbitrarily. If you demand a specific amount, you must demonstrate its basis.
For child support, it is advisable to prepare:
- a breakdown of the child’s monthly expenses
- food invoices
- confirmations of school or kindergarten fees
- medical treatment costs
- medication costs
- confirmations of extracurricular activities
- clothing and footwear costs
- transportation costs
- a portion of housing costs
- vacation and holiday expenses
- information about the parents’ incomes
- evidence of the other parent's earning capacity
Very helpful can be child support calculator. It does not replace the court but allows you to organize the child's expenses and see which costs still need to be documented.
The basic principle of child support arises from art. 135 of the Family and Guardianship Code. The court takes into account the justified needs of the child as well as the earning and financial capacity of the obligated parent. The official text of the statute is available at ISAP.
If you need a broader discussion of the child support matter itself, a separate page maintenance organizes topics of establishing, increasing, decreasing, securing, and enforcing child support.
Income of the other parent
In child support cases, the issue of the other parent's income often arises. Someone claims to earn minimally, but their lifestyle shows otherwise. Someone runs a business and reports low income. Someone works abroad. Someone suddenly changes to a lower-paying job before the case.
In such a situation, it is worth gathering information about:
- the other parent's profession
- qualifications
- previous earnings
- workplace
- business activity
- assets
- cars
- real estate
- lifestyle
- trips
- additional sources of income
It is not about rumors and assumptions. It is about specifics. If the other parent officially reports low income but lives at a high standard, one can try to present the court with a fuller picture.
Evidence may include:
- PIT
- income certificates
- business documents
- job offers showing real earnings in the profession
- history of previous income
- property documents
- messages in which the other party talks about money
- proof of expenses, if available and relevant to the case
The court in child support cases does not have to look solely at the current salary. The earning and financial capacity matter, i.e., how much the parent can realistically earn given their health, experience, education, and professional situation.
Documents concerning assets
Even if the division of property will not be done immediately in the divorce case, it is worth securing the documents earlier. After separation, access to them may be more difficult. The other party may change passwords, take documents, or stop sharing information.
Useful documents may include:
- notarial deeds
- mortgage loan agreement
- repayment schedule
- installment confirmations
- documents concerning cars
- leasing agreements
- business documents
- account statements
- information about savings
- loan agreements
- confirmations of major purchases
- documents concerning donations and inheritances
- evidence of expenditures on an apartment, house, or business
If joint housing, a loan, a business, or larger settlements are involved, it is worth checking the matter in advance division of property. Financial preparation before divorce often saves a lot of stress later.
How to prepare attachments to the statement of claim?
Attachments should be legible. This really matters. If documents are submitted randomly, without order or descriptions, it will be harder to conduct the case.
The simplest way is to make a list of attachments:
- attachment 1 - copy of the marriage certificate
- attachment 2 - copy of the child's birth certificate
- attachment 3 - summary of child maintenance costs
- attachment 4 - confirmations of preschool fees
- attachment 5 - medical bills
- attachment 6 - messages regarding non-payment
- attachment 7 - confirmations of housing costs
If there is a lot of evidence, it is good to group it thematically:
- formal documents
- children
- maintenance
- fault
- property
- violence or addiction
- correspondence
There is no need to make it a thesis. An order that allows quick finding of a document and understanding why it was attached is sufficient.
What not to include in the statement of claim?
Not every material helps. Sometimes an excess of random evidence causes the most important facts to be lost.
It is not worth attaching:
- screenshots without dates and context
- messages unrelated to the case
- photos added only to ridicule the other party
- very old documents without relevance
- multiple copies of the same evidence
- illegible photos
- emotional descriptions without facts
- materials obtained in a legally risky manner without consultation
Divorce is not the place to show every argument. One must choose what matters for the resolution: the breakdown of the marriage, fault, children, maintenance, parental authority, property, and safety.
How to write to the other spouse before divorce?
Messages sent before divorce often later become part of the case files. Therefore, it is worth writing as if someone might read it in court someday.
It is best to follow a few rules:
- write briefly
- write calmly
- do not threaten
- do not insult
- do not blackmail with the child
- do not write under the influence of alcohol
- do not respond immediately when you are emotional
- record arrangements concerning the children specifically
- confirm important conversations in writing
- do not delete important correspondence
Example of a good message:
“I propose that contact with the child take place on Saturday from 10:00 to 18:00. Please confirm by Thursday so I can plan the pickup and the child’s activities.”
Example of a bad message:
“You will not see the child because you ruined my life.”
Emotions are understandable, but such messages can later look very bad. Especially if the dispute concerns the children.
What to prepare for a consultation with a lawyer?
You do not need to bring the entire marriage archive to the first consultation. However, it is worth preparing the most important information so the conversation is specific.
Useful will be:
- date of marriage
- information whether there are children
- children’s ages
- description of the current housing situation
- information whether the spouses live together
- main causes of the breakdown
- decision whether you consider fault
- child maintenance costs
- information about the parents’ incomes
- most important evidence
- documents concerning property
- information about loans
- previous arrangements between spouses
- questions you want to ask
If you do not know where to start, you can describe the situation via the form on the website contact. It is best to briefly indicate whether the case concerns the divorce itself, children, maintenance, fault, property, or urgent protection.
Documents and evidence – the most important rule
In divorce, the quantity of paper does not win. Order, specificity, and sense matter. Good evidence material should answer questions that really matter:
- whether the marriage has broken down
- whether the divorce is to be with fault or no fault
- where the child should live
- how maintenance should be arranged
- how parents should make decisions about the child
- is protection necessary
- whether the property requires separate action
- whether there is violence, addiction, or risk to the child in the case
If the documents are organized, the statement of claim is easier to write, and the case is easier to conduct. If everything is chaotic, even a good case may look weaker than it should.
Children in divorce cases – what must be established before the statement of claim?
If spouses have minor children together, a divorce does not end with the dissolution of the marriage alone. The court must look more broadly: where the child will live, how the parents will exercise parental authority, how visitation will be arranged, who will pay child support, and whether the child will be safe in the new family situation.
This is often the most difficult part of a divorce. Adults may want to close the marriage as quickly as possible, but the child still needs stability, predictability, and a normal life. School, kindergarten, medical care, extracurricular activities, relationships with parents, holidays, celebrations, and daily responsibilities do not disappear just because the parents separate.
Therefore, before filing a statement of claim, it is worth considering several matters:
- with which parent the child will live permanently
- how contact with the other parent should be arranged
- whether the parents are able to make joint decisions
- whether limitation of parental authority is necessary
- what amount of child support is needed
- whether an application for securing child support should be filed
- who bears the child's daily expenses
- who actually takes care of the child on a daily basis
- whether there is a risk of violence, addiction, or neglect
- whether shared custody makes sense in this particular family
It is not advisable to leave these matters for the hearing. If the issues concerning the children are described generally in the statement of claim, the court will still have to clarify them. It is better to present a specific, calm, and reasonable plan from the outset.
The basic provisions concerning divorce, children, parental authority, and child support are found in the Family and Guardianship Code. This is the most important statute for family cases.
The best interest of the child – the most important principle in divorce cases
In family cases, the best interest of the child is often mentioned. This is not an empty phrase. The court should not look solely at what the mother or father wants. It must assess which solution will be the safest and most stable for the child.
The best interest of the child may include, among other things:
- permanent place of residence
- a calm daily routine
- regular contact with both parents, if it is safe
- access to school, doctors, and activities
- no involvement of the child in adult conflicts
- predictable visitation
- regular child support
- protection from violence, addiction, or neglect
- the possibility of normal development
In practice, the court will want to determine what the child's life was like before the divorce and what must be done to avoid introducing even greater chaos after the divorce.
If the child has long lived mainly with one parent, attends the same school, has doctors, friends, and activities there, this must be described. If the other parent was involved and regularly participated in care, this must also be honestly shown. The court needs a realistic picture of the family, not a one-sided story written only for conflict.
The child's place of residence after divorce
One of the most important decisions is to determine with which parent the child will live. This is not just a matter of address. It concerns the center of the child's life: home, school, room, daily care, commuting, doctors, activities, and sense of security.
Before filing a statement of claim, it is worth answering the following questions:
- where the child currently lives
- who takes care of the child daily
- who takes the child to school or kindergarten
- who accompanies the child to the doctor
- who organizes extracurricular activities
- who helps with homework
- who buys clothes and necessary items
- who pays for daily expenses
- whether changing the place of residence will disrupt school or medical care
- does the other parent have the conditions and time for daily care
The description of the child's place of residence should be specific. Instead of writing: “the child should stay with me because it will be better,” it is better to show the facts.
Example:
“Since the parents' separation, the child has been living with the mother. The mother takes the child to school, arranges medical appointments, pays for extracurricular activities, and provides daily care. The father maintains contact on agreed dates.”
Or:
“The child lives with the father, who provides constant care, prepares meals, communicates with the school, and covers ongoing maintenance costs.”
Such a description is calm and factual. It does not attack the other party unnecessarily but shows the court what the child's daily life looks like.
Parental authority – how does it differ from contact?
Parental authority and contact with the child are two different matters. Many people confuse these terms, which can lead to mistaken expectations.
Parental authority concerns making important decisions about the child, for example:
- choice of school
- medical treatment
- therapy
- foreign trips
- place of residence
- documents
- extracurricular activities
- important educational matters
Contact, on the other hand, concerns when and how a parent spends time with the child.
A parent may have full parental authority and simultaneously have contact arranged on specific dates. They may also have limited parental authority but still see the child. It depends on the situation.
If the parents can cooperate, the court may leave parental authority to both. However, if the conflict is very strong, one parent blocks important decisions, shows no interest in the child, abuses alcohol, uses violence, or acts against the child’s best interests, there may be a need to limit parental authority.
More about such situations can be read on the page parental authority, because in divorce this topic often becomes one of the most important points of dispute.
When can the court limit parental authority?
Limiting parental authority should not be treated as a punishment for the other parent. The court should look at the child’s welfare and whether the parents can make decisions regarding the child.
Limiting parental authority may be considered when one parent:
- shows no interest in the child
- does not participate in medical treatment or education
- blocks important decisions
- acts impulsively and harms the child
- abuses alcohol or drugs
- uses violence
- neglects the child
- manipulates the child against the other parent
- does not cooperate on basic matters
- makes decisions contrary to the child’s safety
However, it is not enough to write in the statement of claim: “the other parent is unfit to raise the child.” Specific incidents, documents, messages, witnesses, or other evidence must be shown.
If the other parent does not attend medical appointments, does not receive information from the school, does not know the child’s needs, or only appears when there is a conflict, it is worth describing this calmly and factually. The court must see facts, not just opinions.
Contact with the child after divorce
Contact should be described as specifically as possible. A general statement like “the father will see the child on weekends” often later leads to disputes. Which weekends? From what time? Who picks up the child? Who returns them? What about holidays, winter breaks, and summer vacations?
A good contact plan should include:
- contact days
- start and end times
- child pickup location
- child drop-off location
- weekday visits
- weekends
- holidays
- school breaks
- holidays
- child's birthday
- Mother's Day and Father's Day
- phone or online contact
- method of informing about child's illness
- rules for making up missed visits
Example of a specific provision:
"The father will meet with the child every other weekend from Friday at 5:00 p.m. until Sunday at 6:00 p.m., with pickup from the mother's residence and drop-off at the same place."
This is only an example, as the visitation schedule should fit the child's age, distance between parents, school, activities, and parents' capabilities. Contact arrangements differ for a small child, a teenager, and when parents live in different cities.
Visits must not be used as a tool for revenge
After separation, emotions run high. Betrayal, disappointment, a sense of injustice, or anger can greatly hinder normal communication. Nevertheless, the child should not be used as leverage.
A parent should not say:
- "You don't pay, so you won't see the child"
- "You hurt me, so you won't have contact"
- "The child doesn't want to, so I don't have to let them go"
- "If you sign my terms, then you'll see the child"
Such behavior can reflect poorly in court, especially if there is no real threat to the child.
Of course, there are situations where limiting contact may be necessary. This concerns violence, addiction, aggression, neglect, or real risk to the child. In such cases, formal action and evidence preparation are required, not unilateral cutting off of contact.
If violence or threat is involved, the matter must be taken very seriously. In such situations, the website domestic violence, can be helpful, as divorce involving violence requires a completely different approach than an amicable separation.
What to do if the other parent obstructs contact?
Obstructing contact is a common problem. It may involve canceling meetings, not answering calls, inventing excuses, turning the child against the other parent, or ignoring previous arrangements.
If contact is being obstructed, it is advisable to calmly document the situation:
- dates of missed visits
- messages refusing contact
- lack of response to meeting proposals
- attempts to pick up the child
- witnesses to the situation
- impact of the situation on the child
- previous arrangements
- recurrence of the problem
It is not advisable to respond with aggression. Messages written in emotion may later be harmful. It is better to write briefly and factually.
Example:
"According to the arrangements, I was to pick up the child on Friday at 5:00 p.m. Please inform me why the visit cannot take place and suggest an alternative date."
Such a message shows you are trying to resolve the issue calmly. At the same time, it leaves a record that may be important in the case.
What to do when the other parent is not interested in the child?
The opposite situation also occurs. The other parent formally demands extensive contact or shared custody, but previously did not participate in the child's life for a long time. They do not know the doctors, did not attend school, did not pick up the child, did not pay for activities, and did not know what the child’s daily life was like.
In such cases, it is worth preparing the facts:
- who actually provided daily care
- who took the child to doctors
- who communicated with the school
- who helped with learning
- who paid for the child's needs
- who organized activities
- how often the other parent saw the child
- whether meetings were canceled
- whether they knew the child's needs
- whether they can practically provide care
The point is not to punish the parent for less involvement in the past. The point is for the court to know the realities. If someone suddenly demands shared custody but previously did not regularly care for the child, the court should know what the actual care looked like.
Shared custody – when does it make sense?
Shared custody can be a good solution, but not for every family. It means the child spends comparable time with both parents. The most common model is week on, week off, but other arrangements are also possible.
Shared custody may make sense when:
- both parents are genuinely involved
- the parents live close to each other
- the child can attend the same school or kindergarten
- parents can communicate
- there is no violence or serious threat
- the child functions well in such a model
- both parents have suitable living conditions
- parents can share costs and responsibilities
However, it is not a magical solution for every divorce. If parents are in severe conflict, live far apart, cannot agree on basic matters, or the child struggles with constant moving, shared custody may worsen the problem.
More about this model can be read on the website shared custody. However, in a divorce case, it is not worth demanding it automatically. It is necessary to show why such an arrangement will be good for the child.
Child support in divorce – how to prepare the amount?
Child support is one of the most common points of dispute in divorce. One parent says the child is expensive. The other responds that the amount is exaggerated. Without concrete numbers and documents, such a conversation quickly turns into a conflict.
Therefore, child support must be prepared calmly and thoroughly. First, it is worth calculating the monthly costs of the child.
Costs may include:
- food
- clothing and shoes
- housing and utilities
- school or kindergarten
- textbooks and school supplies
- tutoring
- medical treatment
- medications
- therapy
- extracurricular activities
- transport
- phone
- internet
- holidays and breaks
- seasonal costs
- daily needs of the child
A good starting point is child support calculator. It does not guarantee a specific ruling but helps organize expenses and see what the requested amount may be based on.
If the child support case is more complex, it is also worth checking the website maintenance. Child support in divorce may concern not only setting the amount but also securing it during the case, increasing, decreasing, or enforcement if the other parent does not pay.
What does the court consider in child support cases?
The basic principle comes from art. 135 of the Family and Guardianship Code. The amount of child support depends on the justified needs of the child and the earning and property capacity of the obligated parent. The official text of the statute is available at ISAP.
This means the court looks at both sides of the case.
First, it examines the child's needs. A small child has different costs, a primary school pupil different, a teenager different, and a child requiring treatment, therapy, tutoring, or a special diet different.
Second, the court looks at the parent's capabilities. And here is an important point: it is not only the current salary documented on paper. Qualifications, experience, assets, lifestyle, work abroad, business activity, and real earning potential may also be relevant.
If a parent officially earns little but lives at a much higher standard, the court may examine the case more broadly. If a parent deliberately limits income to pay less, this may also be relevant.
Securing child support during divorce proceedings
A divorce case can last several months or longer. However, the child needs money immediately. Food, school, doctors, activities, and bills do not wait for the verdict.
Therefore, it is often advisable to file a motion for securing child support in the divorce petition. If the court grants it, the other parent will have to pay a specified amount during the proceedings.
Securing child support is particularly important when:
- the other parent pays nothing
- pays irregularly
- pays too little
- one parent bears almost all the child's expenses
- the child requires medical treatment or therapy
- school and activity costs are high
- the divorce case may take a long time
The motion for securing support should be specific. It must indicate the requested amount, describe the child's expenses, the parents' situation, and include evidence. One general sentence is usually insufficient.
Child support and visitation are two different matters
In practice, parents often confuse child support and visitation. This is a mistake. Child support is money for the child's maintenance. Visitation concerns the child's relationship with the parent. One should not be used as leverage over the other.
A parent should not say:
- "You don't pay, so you won't see the child"
- "You don't give me the child, so I won't pay"
- "If you agree to my terms, I will pay"
- "If you pay more, you will get the weekend"
If a parent does not pay child support, legal action is necessary. One can request securing, enforcement, or other measures. If a parent obstructs visitation, formal action is also required. Mixing these issues independently may look bad in court and harm the child.
Parental agreement
If parents can communicate, it is worth considering preparing a parental agreement. This is a document where the most important rules of child care after divorce can be established.
The agreement may include:
- the child's place of residence
- contact with the other parent
- holidays
- school breaks
- holidays
- birthdays
- decision-making regarding school
- decision-making regarding medical treatment
- extracurricular activities
- foreign trips
- telephone contact
- division of additional costs
- method of informing about important matters concerning the child
It is not advisable to write the agreement too generally. The sentence "parents will cooperate amicably" sounds good but does not solve real problems. It is better to specify details.
Example:
"Parents will inform each other about planned medical appointments for the child at least 3 days before the appointment, unless the visit is urgent."
Or:
"Costs of additional activities agreed upon by both parents will be shared equally."
Such provisions are practical. They help avoid disputes when emotions after divorce are still strong.
Will the child be interviewed in court?
Parents often fear that the child will have to go to court and say with whom they want to live. In practice, the court should protect the child from unnecessary burden.
This does not mean that the child's opinion never matters. Everything depends on age, maturity, and the type of case. The court may use various methods to ascertain the child's situation, such as expert opinions, school documents, psychological evaluations, or information from the parents.
The most important thing is not to involve the child in the conflict. The child must not be made a witness against the other parent. It is not advisable to ask directly whom the child loves more or wants to live with if such a question causes pressure. The child should not be shown the petition, messages, evidence of infidelity, or adult quarrels.
The child should not be responsible for decisions that adults cannot make.
A parent's new partner and the divorce case
A new partner of one parent often intensifies the conflict. The mere fact that the mother or father has a new relationship does not automatically mean they are a bad parent. What matters is how this situation affects the child.
The court may consider:
- whether the child knows the new partner
- whether the relationship was introduced calmly
- whether the child is forced to have contact
- whether the new partner behaves safely
- are conflicts arising
- is the parent neglecting the child due to a new relationship
- is the new partner excessively interfering in upbringing
- does the child have ensured stability
It is not advisable to make the new partner the main issue if it does not affect the child. However, if there is violence, aggression, addiction, risk, or the child reacts very badly, this must be described specifically and evidence prepared.
Child's travel abroad
After divorce, a frequent point of dispute is the child's travel abroad. This concerns both vacations and permanent relocation. If the parents share parental authority, important decisions regarding the child should be made jointly.
Before divorce, it is worth determining:
- whether the child has a passport
- who holds the documents
- whether the parents agree to vacation trips
- how consents for travel will be given
- whether either parent plans to relocate
- how the trip will affect school
- how the trip will affect contact with the other parent
- how travel costs will be covered
If there is a risk of unauthorized travel with the child, it is not worth waiting. Such a matter should be consulted promptly as it may require urgent action.
School, medical care and daily decisions
Parents often focus on child support and weekends, forgetting about daily decisions. Meanwhile, after divorce, it is still necessary to determine school, doctors, extracurricular activities, therapy, vacations, documents, and trips.
It is worth agreeing in advance:
- who communicates with the school
- who has access to the electronic journal
- who schedules medical appointments
- who informs the other parent about the child's illness
- who makes decisions about extracurricular activities
- who pays additional costs
- how parents inform each other about important matters
- how emergency situations are resolved
If parents cooperate well, some matters can be handled flexibly. If the conflict is significant, the rules should be more detailed. The fewer ambiguities, the fewer opportunities for further disputes.
The child in divorce – what to describe in the statement of claim?
In the statement of claim, it is worth describing the child's situation calmly and specifically. The aim is not to attack the other parent but to show how the child functions and what they need.
It is worth including:
- the child's age
- the school or kindergarten
- place of residence
- the current care arrangement
- the relationship with each parent
- maintenance costs
- health needs
- educational needs
- proposed child support
- proposed contact arrangements
- position regarding parental authority
- any problems, if important for the child
Example:
"The minor son of the parties has been living with the mother since the parents' separation. The mother provides daily care, organizes schooling, medical appointments, and extracurricular activities. The father maintains contact with the child on selected weekends but does not regularly contribute to maintenance costs. The monthly cost of maintaining the child is approximately X PLN, as shown in the attached statement."
Such a description is specific. It presents the facts and allows the court to understand the matter.
When the child case is contentious
If you know that the other parent will fight for the child, you must prepare especially thoroughly. It is not about waging war. It is about organizing the facts.
It is advisable to prepare:
- a description of the current care
- child's daily schedule
- school documents
- medical documents
- proofs of activities
- child maintenance costs
- messages regarding contacts
- evidence of the parent's involvement
- information about living conditions
- witnesses familiar with the child's situation
- evidence of problems with the other parent, if they actually exist
If the conflict is very intense, the court may require more material. It may also use expert opinions. Then it is particularly important not to appear as a parent who wants to punish the other party. The position should show that it is about the child's stability and safety.
Key conclusions regarding children and maintenance
In a divorce with children, it is not enough to state that the marriage has broken down. You must show how the child's life should look after the divorce. The court will consider custody, contacts, maintenance, parental authority, safety, and daily stability.
It is best to prepare:
- a specific plan for the child's place of residence
- a proposal for contacts
- position regarding parental authority
- a table of the child's costs
- evidence of expenses
- a request for maintenance security, if needed
- evidence of daily care
- a calm description of the family situation
Children are the most vulnerable part of a divorce. Therefore, the less chaos, the better. A well-prepared statement of claim should not only end the marriage. It should also organize the child's life after the divorce so that they have as much peace, safety, and predictability as possible.
Division of property upon divorce – must it be done immediately?
Divorce ends the marriage but does not always immediately resolve all property matters. This is important because many people think that during divorce the court will automatically divide the apartment, loan, car, savings, and business. In practice, this is not always the case.
Property division can be conducted in the divorce case, but only if it does not cause excessive prolongation of the proceedings. If the spouses agree, know who gets what, and can present a clear position, sometimes it can be done during the divorce. However, if there is a dispute over the apartment, loan, contributions, business, value of assets, or settlements, property division is usually conducted separately.
This does not mean that the property issue can be ignored. Before the divorce, it is worth securing documents and knowing what constitutes the joint property. After separation, access to documents may be more difficult. The other party may change passwords, take contracts, restrict account access, or stop providing information.
With larger assets, it is advisable to check earlier how it looks division of propertyespecially when it involves an apartment, house, loan, car, business, or larger savings.
What property documents are worth collecting?
Before the divorce, it is worth collecting documents concerning joint property, even if the division will be conducted later. It is not about immediately fighting for every item. It is about knowing what exists, the value of the property, and what disputed points may arise.
Useful documents may include:
- notarial deeds of apartment, house, or plot
- mortgage loan agreement
- loan repayment schedule
- proofs of repaid installments
- documents concerning cars
- leasing agreements
- proofs of purchase of major items
- business documents
- bank account statements
- information about deposits and savings
- loan agreements
- documents concerning gifts
- documents concerning inheritances
- proofs of contributions to the apartment or house
- invoices for renovations
- documents concerning home furnishings
- information about joint obligations
Documents concerning real estate and loans are particularly important. If spouses have a jointly financed apartment, divorce itself does not remove the obligation towards the bank. One spouse moving out does not automatically mean they cease to be responsible for the loan. This matter must be planned carefully.
Joint apartment after divorce
The apartment is often the biggest property issue. Sometimes spouses still live together despite their relationship having ended. Sometimes one moves in with family or rents a place, while the other stays in the apartment with the child. Sometimes both parties want to take over the property. Sometimes neither can independently repay the loan.
Before divorce, it is worth determining:
- who is formally the owner of the apartment
- whether the apartment belongs to the joint property
- whether the apartment was purchased before the marriage
- whether it was financed by a loan
- who repays the installments
- who bears the costs of maintaining the apartment
- who lives in the apartment with the child
- whether one party wants to take over the apartment
- whether the sale of the property is realistic
- whether expenses need to be settled
In divorce proceedings, the court may decide on the use of the joint apartment if the spouses still live together. However, this is not a full division of property. Therefore, it is necessary to distinguish temporary arrangement of the housing situation from the final property settlement.
Mortgage loan and divorce
Mortgage loans very often remain with former spouses longer than the marriage itself. For the bank, the loan agreement is paramount. If both spouses signed the loan, divorce does not automatically mean that one of them ceases to be a debtor.
This is one of the most common misconceptions about divorce. Spouses agree that one will stay in the apartment and repay the loan, but the bank may still treat both as debtors if the agreement is not changed.
Before making a decision, it is worth checking:
- who is party to the loan agreement
- what is the current amount of debt
- what is the installment amount
- who has been paying the installments so far
- whether the bank will agree to transfer the loan to one person
- whether one person has creditworthiness
- whether the sale of the apartment is realistic
- whether repaid installments need to be settled
- whether the apartment is worth more than the remaining loan
When it comes to a loan, it is not advisable to rely solely on verbal arrangements. This is too serious a matter. It is best to first check the documents and consult a lawyer before signing any agreement.
One spouse's business
If one spouse runs a business, divorce may be more complicated. The business can affect child support, property, income, and the family’s lifestyle. Sometimes the business was established before the marriage, sometimes during it. Sometimes the business formally belongs to one person but was developed thanks to the work and money of both.
It is worth agreeing on:
- when the business was established
- whether it was created before the marriage or during it
- what its revenues are
- what the costs are
- whether the business has assets
- whether the spouse pays themselves a salary
- whether income is understated
- whether the business financed private expenses
- whether the other spouse helped in the business
- whether there were joint investments in the development of the company
The company may also be relevant in child support cases. If a parent runs a business and formally reports low income but actually lives at a good standard, the court may examine their financial capacity more broadly. In such cases, it is not advisable to rely solely on a single tax declaration.
Divorce costs - how much do you have to pay?
The basic cost is the court fee for the divorce petition. The current court fee rates are set out in the Act on Court Fees in Civil Cases, the official text of which can be checked in ISAP: Act on Court Fees in Civil Cases.
Additional divorce costs may include:
- cost of copies of civil status records
- cost of legal counsel
- cost of mediation, if the parties use it
- costs of expert opinions, if needed
- travel costs to the court
- costs of additional documents
- translation costs, if documents are foreign
If the divorce is uncontested and without major dispute, costs are usually lower. If the case involves fault, children, maintenance, property, witnesses, and opinions, expect a greater investment of time and money.
It is also worth remembering that the cost of divorce is not only the court fee. The most expensive mistakes often result from ill-considered decisions: agreeing to too low maintenance, lack of security, poorly described property, or waiving important claims without understanding the consequences.
Does mediation make sense in divorce?
Mediation can make sense if both parties are willing to talk. It does not mean agreeing to everything. It is about trying to find solutions that reduce conflict and allow the matter to be resolved more quickly.
Mediation can be particularly helpful in:
- contact with the child
- holidays and holidays
- child support
- division of child-related costs
- use of the residence
- parenting agreement
- certain property matters
However, mediation is not always a good solution. If there is violence, intimidation, strong manipulation, hiding of money, or a complete lack of good will, mediation may not make sense or may require great caution.
Official information about mediation can be found on the Ministry of Justice website: mediation - gov.pl.
What does a divorce hearing look like?
The divorce hearing depends on whether the case is uncontested or contentious. In simple cases, the court may hear the spouses, verify whether the breakdown of the marriage is permanent and complete, determine issues concerning children and maintenance, and issue a judgment. In more complex cases, there may be several hearings, witnesses, documents, opinions, and further pleadings.
At the hearing, the court may ask, among other things:
- how long the marriage has lasted
- Do the spouses still live together?
- when the emotional bond ceased
- when the physical bond ceased
- whether the parties run a joint household
- whether there is a prospect of reconciliation
- whether the parties have minor children
- what the children’s situation is
- what child support is needed
- how contact should be arranged
- whether the parties want a ruling on fault
- what caused the breakdown of the marriage
It is advisable to answer calmly and specifically. There is no need to recount everything that happened over the many years of marriage. The court needs facts relevant to the case.
If there are children in the case, it is good to know their basic costs, school, daily schedule, medical treatment, activities, and current care arrangement. If fault is an issue, it is necessary to know the key events, dates, and evidence.
How to behave at the hearing?
A divorce hearing is stressful, but it is worth remembering a few simple rules.
First, answer the questions. Do not evade with long stories if the court asks about a specific matter.
Second, do not interrupt the other party. Even if they say something untrue, it is better to wait your turn and respond calmly.
Third, do not insult. Aggression in the courtroom usually does not help.
Fourth, speak with facts. Instead of saying: “he was never a father,” it is better to say: “from January to May there were only two contacts, despite my proposing dates every other weekend.”
Fifth, have your documents prepared. If you need to quickly refer to an attachment, it is good to know where it is.
Sixth, remember that the court evaluates not only the content but also the manner of communication. Especially in cases concerning children, it is important whether a parent can discuss the conflict without involving the child in an adult war.
Most common mistakes before divorce
In divorce cases, many problems begin even before filing the statement of claim. Some mistakes stem from emotions, some from ignorance, and some from haste.
The most common mistakes are:
- filing the statement of claim without considering whether to demand fault
- lack of evidence when demanding a fault ruling
- omitting child support
- lack of a motion to secure child support
- general description of the children’s situation
- lack of documents concerning the child’s expenses
- chaotic screenshots without dates and descriptions
- overly emotional messages to the other spouse
- oral agreements without confirmation
- lack of property documents
- ignoring the loan
- too quick consent to unfavorable terms
- involving the child in the conflict
- mixing child support with visitation
- delaying action despite violence or threat
The best way to avoid these mistakes is to calmly prepare the case. First facts, then documents, then procedural decisions.
Mistake: divorce with fault without evidence
The mere feeling of grievance is not enough to establish fault. If someone wants a divorce due to the other spouse’s fault, they must prepare evidence. This may include messages, documents, photos, witnesses, police notes, medical documentation, or other materials.
Without evidence, the case may be prolonged, and the outcome may be weaker than expected. Therefore, before demanding fault, it is worth honestly assessing what can be proven and what is only one party’s belief.
Mistake: lack of securing child support
If the child lives with one parent and the other does not pay or pays too little, the lack of a motion to secure child support may be a significant mistake. Divorce proceedings can be lengthy, and the child needs money on an ongoing basis.
In such a case, it is worth properly preparing the child’s expenses and using child support calculator, to organize the expenditures. In more complex cases, an analysis of the topic maintenance, will also be helpful, especially when the other parent disputes the costs or hides income.
Mistake: overly general arrangements concerning the child
The phrase “parents will agree on visitation” sounds good only if the parents really can agree. In conflict, such general arrangements may lead to further problems.
It is better to immediately specify:
- specific visitation days
- pickup and drop-off times
- holidays
- school breaks
- holidays
- telephone contact
- method of informing about illness
- division of additional costs
- decisions about school and medical treatment
If parents cannot cooperate on important matters concerning the child, the scope must be carefully considered. parental authorityIn cases of high conflict, one general sentence may not suffice.
Error: ignoring violence or addiction
If there is violence, threats, addiction, financial control, or a threat to the child in the marriage, it is not advisable to wait calmly for the divorce. Such a case requires prompt action and good documentation.
Useful documents may include:
- police reports
- medical documentation
- documents from the Blue Card procedure
- threatening messages
- witness testimonies
- psychologist certificates
- crisis intervention documents
In cases of violence, it is advisable to use legal and institutional assistance. On the website domestic violence situations are described where quick action may be necessary to protect the victim and children.
FAQ - most common questions about preparing for divorce
How to prepare for a divorce?
First, facts, documents, children’s situation, child support, evidence, and assets must be organized. It is worth determining whether the divorce will be fault-based or no-fault, and whether urgent motions are needed, for example, for securing child support.
What documents are needed for divorce?
Usually, a copy of the marriage certificate, copies of birth certificates of minor children, proof of court fee payment, documents concerning children, maintenance costs, child support, assets, and evidence supporting the main claims in the statement of claim are required.
Is evidence necessary for divorce?
In an uncontested divorce without fault, less evidence is usually needed. In a fault-based divorce, disputes over children, child support, violence, or assets, evidence is very important. Mere assertions may not suffice.
Is it better to choose a fault-based or no-fault divorce?
It depends on the goal, evidence, and family situation. No-fault divorce is usually faster and calmer. Fault-based divorce may be justified in cases of infidelity, violence, addiction, abandonment of the family, or serious breach of marital duties, but requires evidence.
Does the court always determine child support in a divorce?
If the spouses have a common minor child, the court should also decide on child support. The amount depends on the child’s needs and the earning and asset capacity of the obligated parent.
Can child support be obtained during the divorce proceedings?
Yes. A motion can be filed to secure child support during the proceedings. If the court grants it, the other parent will have to pay a specified amount before the final judgment.
Does divorce include division of property?
Not always. The divorce court may divide property if it does not cause undue prolongation of the case. In cases of greater property conflict, division of property is usually conducted separately.
Does the child have to appear in court during the parents’ divorce?
Not always. The court should protect the child from unnecessary stress. In more difficult cases, the court may use expert opinions or other methods to establish the child’s situation, but this does not automatically mean a classic hearing in court.
Can a divorce be quick?
It can be if the case is uncontested, spouses do not request fault determination, documents are well prepared, and there is no dispute over children, child support, or property. If conflict arises, the case may take longer.
When is it worth contacting a lawyer before divorce?
It is especially worth doing this when there are children, child support, property, loans, violence, infidelity, addiction, a business, dispute over fault, or concern that the other party will obstruct the case. Contact can be initiated through the website contact.
Summary - how to prepare for divorce wisely?
It is worth preparing for divorce calmly, even if emotions are very strong. It is not just a formality. From the first decisions, the duration of the case, how child support will be regulated, where the child will live, how contacts will look, and whether unnecessary chaos can be avoided may depend.
The most important is to organize a few things:
- whether there are grounds for divorce
- whether the divorce is to be with fault or no fault
- which documents need to be collected
- what evidence is needed
- what the children’s situation is
- what amount of child support is needed
- is protection necessary
- how contacts with the child look
- whether parental authority requires regulation
- whether property must be divided now or separately
- whether the case requires urgent action due to violence, addiction, or threat
A well-prepared divorce does not have to mean an aggressive fight. It means awareness, order, and concreteness. You know what you want. You know what documents you have. You know where the risks are. You know which matters must be secured immediately and which can be resolved later.
If the divorce concerns children, child support, fault, property, or violence, it is not advisable to act impulsively. It is better to collect documents earlier, calculate costs, organize evidence, and consult a strategy. This increases the chance that the case will proceed calmly and the most important decisions will not be made under emotional influence.
Divorce ends the marriage but simultaneously sets many matters for the future. Therefore, it is worth preparing it so that it not only closes one stage but also secures children, finances, and daily life after separation.
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